Ways to deal with and unhappy depressed and critical mother. - Getting Closer to God's Voice 198

How do I deal with emotional abuse from parents?

Parents are human beings as well. They might suffer from their unmet needs in life. Everyone has their troubles and worries in mind, including your mom. An unhappy mother probably suffers from a frustrating love relationship, early aging or other affairs. They have their worries as everyone else.   An unhappy or depressed mom/dad are emotionally vulnerable or even helpless. Thus, they fail to take good care of themselves, including their kids. 

 

Focus on what you can offer rather than what you can get from them. Seek mental support from other connections.

Indisputably, physical age does not promise psychological maturity. If a person keeping complaining or casting criticism to people around them, that’s a warning sign of depression or anxiety indeed. That’s a sign of dissatisfaction.  Worries roots from fear or sense of insensitivity.

Remember, it’s not your fault and you are not alone. Minimize time around your abusive parent. Get prepared beforehand if it happens very often. Keep a safe distance with them. If the situation is serious and frequent, moving out or getting more part-time jobs can be the option.

Build a social support network outside of your family. Keep an eye on your anxiety and mood. Avoid sleep deprivation, which can lower a person’s EQ indeed. 

 

How to deal with an unhappy mother or toxic angry mother? 

 

• Dig out the reason or casualty of her depression or unhappiness.  Show your compassion to her.  Try to understand her emotion and mental plight. She is probably going through serious anxiety or distress alone. The hard fact is that an unhappy mother fails to give love to herself and her kids.
  See what you can do for her to make her feel better, such as helping out the households.
• Find mental support elsewhere. Be self-sufficient and independent.
• Limit the amount of time you spend together. Set up some boundaries if you are much affected by her negative emotion. If you are highly affected, consider cut off communication and connect for a while.  Spending too much time with her might make you end up drained and resentful. 
• Make your comments as calmly and as respectfully as possible. Try not to irritate her.  If she’s being nagging or picky, try to let it go or leave the environment to avoid possible conflicts. 
• Channel your anger and pain in a proper way by singing or writing or exercise. 

 

How do I make my mom or parents happy after a fight?

• Body contact is powerful and effective. Touch her body or give her a hug.
• Sense of humor by calling her nicknames.
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• Try to make her feel respected with soft words and express your own feelings in a respectful way. Try to respect her/them as the principal at school.
• Invite her to do something she loves together.
• Get something she loves to eat, such as cupcakes, cookies or fruits.

 

How to Deal with Emotionally Immature Parents?

• Lower your expectation for them. Do not expect empathy, care or concern from an emotionally immature parent. Stop expecting a satisfying response from your parent. Stop expectation intimate communication from them but a peaceful relationship.
• Practicing speaking up in a calm way. It will give you more strength.

 

How do you deal with a critical mother?

She might be the one who does not know how to express love and concern in a proper or correct way.

• Stop seeking or hoping for recognition and acceptance from her. 
• Do not focus on your wounded emotion. Deal with your emotion rationally. See if she is making a good point out of truth. You can reply something like “You are right. What my mom said is right.” And she might stop. Those who love to criticize others prefer to prove that they are superior to others or win out others. Give them what they want and they will shut up.
• Parents can’t always right. Take her words lightly. Do not take all of her opinion or criticisms seriously.
• Think twice before responding. 
• Do not value your self-worth based on your parents’ comments or feedbacks. Learn to value yourself from the outsider’s perspective. Make a list of your strengths and positive qualities. Learn to deal with frustration and disappointment in life.
• Practice tuning out your mother’s harsh critiques into an awkward reminder. Tell yourself she is ineloquent. Repeat the idea in your head like “My mother is not good at expressing her love or worries. Nobody teaches her how to love. She doesn’t mean to make me feel bad.”