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兩性專欄｜辦公室戀情是出軌的高危險群.... - Wise Library 1985

2021/12/25

辦公室戀情：剛剛好禮貌又具有遐想的距離

不論單身與否，辦公室男女在累積基本的交情以後，多少會彼此傾吐一下工作或日常或婚姻的壓力或煩惱。辦公室朝夕相處，同事之間保持一種剛剛好禮貌又具有遐想的距離。特別容易讓生活壓力大的男女日久生情？

加班、聚會、出差，一旦出了社會，工作幾乎佔據許多人生活裡最主要的時間。下班回到家洗個澡就是睡覺時間的人夫頗多，可能一邊吃飯一邊趕著回主管Line的簡訊，為五斗米折腰、為房貸操心、為老婆孩子的教育費煩惱，為婆媳問題無助，很多男人在生活壓力底下開始性冷感開始「幸無助」，新婚妻子要哺乳、要擠奶，要操心家務還有小孩的聯絡簿和家庭功課，外加早起做健康早餐的負責人妻也比比皆是，她們甚至連看部連續劇或電影的娛樂時間都嫌奢侈。

革命情感話題共鳴多

對上班族而言，工作時間絕對佔據比家庭時間更多的精力和精神，和工作夥伴也在一次次合作中建立革命情感而「辦公室戀情」裡面聽說又屬上司與下屬之間最容易發生連帶愛情，為什麼？

權力是最好的春藥

交大張藹珠教授在課堂上說過一句真理名言：「權力是最好的春藥。」下屬崇拜上司，又或者上司對下屬有好感，太容易理解了！

同時擁有地位、權利、金錢的男人，如果相貌不差性格不壞，特別特別容易招蜂引蝶，不論他有意或無意！這時候會不會出亂子，就是個人自制力的問題，能不能停火，也是個人自制力的問題！

「職場的辦公室外遇」確實是外遇的高危險群，男女都一樣！想像一個畫面：丈夫每天夜歸回家都是素顏黑眼圈的妻子穿著睡衣一頭亂髮帶著黑框眼鏡的樣子，而辦公室裡的女同事一個個笑臉迎人輕聲細語，雙方工作上有交集、話題多、共鳴也多，緊身短裙和連身套裝搭配黑色絲襪不論哪一種怎麼看都是迷人的，眼睫毛和眼影也讓女同事們一個個看起來都挺有韓劇女主角的致命女人味！同事們午餐時間一起打發時間說說笑笑紓解壓力，也是正常不過的社交活動！

反觀，回到家，妻子聊的永遠都是孩子、公婆、帳單和家務或孩子教育問題（或為了孩子該念私立或公立該不該補習或學才藝而有不同意見），回到家八九點洗個澡倒頭就睡連夫妻之間分享心事的時間和力氣都沒有。男人就算對妻子偶爾有慾望，兩個同時對房事有興趣的時間點卻總是對不上，總是一個人先上床，一個人還在電腦前或廚房前忙著。欲求不滿漸漸成為一種慣性的未爆彈，男人清楚知道家裡的妻子有多偉大多犧牲，清楚知道太太婚後有多努力為一個家庭付出，但壓抑久了，總是會累積出一些危險的成分。

辦公室充斥時髦單身女or 性感人妻

再想像另一種畫面：現代的人妻們一個個在外都是性感人妻，工作上幹練，裝扮也是十分講究，十分鐘內車上底妝眼睫毛全部完成，一下車，短裙高跟鞋，就是性感時尚美魔女代表。辦公室裡對美麗人妻投以愛慕眼光的男同事定然不少，顧客送來的花束，還有男同事工作上主動的關心和幫忙，有時候殷勤起來比家裡那個冷呼呼看膩自己對自己不屑一顧的「化石人夫」還要體貼十倍二十倍。所以，辦公室愛情出軌，早就不是男人的特權。

辦公室戀情代價高

辦公室日久生情的可能性非常高，但若是辦公室戀情真的發生，其實是非常棘手的！弄不好，可能名聲也壞了連工作也丟了！

辦公室戀情為什麼容易發生，可能一句「你可以順路載我到捷運站嗎」「剛好順路，我送妳回家吧」車上小空間女同事身上的香水味，特別讓人放鬆特別容易引人遐思，對方連身開Ｖ的性感洋裝，完全中彈。每次回到家都是是妻子暗沉的素顏，或是睡著的打呼聲，或是引不起興奮感的寬鬆睡衣…..兩個人很久沒有單獨約會，周末有空都是陪孩子打鬧郊遊的家族旅行……他已經很久沒有看到太太美麗精心打扮的模樣。

避嫌一點也不難

其實有心避嫌有心避免出軌或婚腕鍊可的男人大可以告訴女同事：因為妻子或女友會介意，所以不便送她回家，為表達歉意明天改請對方喝星巴克賠罪！用一杯飲料就可以避免很多節外生枝的麻煩！

這個idea其實一點都不難，但不願意這麼做堅持送女同事的男人，其實就是因為喜歡跟女同事獨處的味道。

喜歡看日劇的讀者也許會發現為什麼日本電視劇的不倫戀特別多，《東京愛情故事》原作漫畫家柴門文解釋道婚外戀日劇有大家所憧憬的成分在。2016 年春季日劇有 4 部討論婚外戀題材，《我的危險妻子》、《不愉快的果實》、《毒島百合子的赤裸裸日記》、《飛機云：罪與戀》。

Pervasive Office Romance

In a new survey by Vault, 50 percent of respondents disclosed having had a romantic relationship with a co-worker. Nevertheless, 29 percent of men and 43 percent of women said they wouldn’t have an office affair again. Nineteen percent of people get involved in a relationship at work where at least one of the parties was either married or in a long-term relationship, according to Vault. Forty-six percent of respondents said they knew about an extramarital affair taking place in their office. According to Vault, the consequences of workplace infidelity are often severe. About 25 percent of people who had a workplace affair end up divorce or breakup. Twelve percent found their affair influenced their career. Nevertheless, there’s a finding that 22 percent of married couples met at work.

Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?

In the book “Not ‘, Just Friends'” Shirley Glass argues that most cheating relationships start out as something much more innocent. “The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing that they’ve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love,” said Glass.

Glass said that about 80 percent of the cases of infidelity she sees involve a relationship that starts out as “just friends,” often starting in the workplace. Glass pinpoints that fact that “Today’s workplace has become the new danger zone of romantic attraction and opportunity.”

The superior-subordinate relationship

Though the superior-subordinate relationship is often seen as taboo and many companies do set policies against love affair at the office. But, 33 percent of respondents in Vault’s survey said that the prohibition of romance at the office is “unacceptable.” Evidently, office policy fails to stop people from developing love relationships at the workplace.

According to Vault, 23 percent of respondents have dated a subordinate and 16 percent of respondents have dated a superior. Generally, men were typically the superior and women the subordinate.

The risks and liabilities of workplace romances: Inappropriate power relationship

Regarding office romance, Labor and employment attorney Mark Kluger assert that “I want managers to know how much danger these relationships put them and the company in. Any supervisor in a romantic relationship with a subordinate is immediately vulnerable to claims of quid pro quo sexual harassment. The main problem is that if a supervisor and subordinate have a love relationship, their work relationship will immediately be complicated by the perception of favoritism.”

Dianne Shaddock Austin, president of Easy Small Business HR, told Business News Daily about the negative effects of workplace romance in saying that “ Office romances that end badly can spill over into the daily work environment. Employers may find themselves dealing with issues of decreased productivity, or mediating between employees who are no longer working collaboratively with each other.”

That’s why Vault’s survey showed that 30 percent of respondents suggest that office romances should not take place between people who work on projects together, and 24 percent of respondent suggest that people in the same department should not become involved.

As Vault reports that one-third of survey respondents thought that their co-worker clinched a professional advantage through a workplace romance and 26 percent asserts that office romance made them uncomfortable. According to Vault’s survey, 32 percent of workplace affairs involve “tryst” or encounter in the workplace. And five percent of respondents had been “caught in the act.”

ExtraMarital Affairs At Office – Caught-In-The-Act – Maury Show